Most financial advice sounds remarkably similar.
Save more. Invest more. Delay gratification. Prepare for retirement.
And to be clear, most of that is good advice.
But taken too far, I think it creates a different kind of risk:
You can become so focused on preparing for someday that you forget to live today.
That's a difficult subject for me because of something that happened in my own family.
The Moment That Changed How I Think About Financial Planning
My brother, Major Brent Burklo, died from sarcoma in 2019.
From the time he was young, Brent wanted to be a pilot.
I remember him sitting for hours playing flight simulator. I used to laugh because he'd sometimes put the plane on autopilot and just sit there watching the screen.
But that was Brent.
He loved flying.
Eventually, he turned that childhood obsession into reality and became a pilot in the Air Force.
Then came the cancer diagnosis.
Brent had a tumor that required an extensive surgery. The procedure affected his right leg and left him with limited function in his right foot.
For most people, that might have been the end of flying.
Not for Brent.
He recovered from surgery, trained himself to walk again and eventually got back into the Air Force flight simulator.
Flying required him to operate controls with his feet, so he had to figure out how to compensate for the limitations in his right foot.
And he did it.
His motivation throughout all of this was incredibly simple:
He wanted to fly again.
Then the cancer came back.
This time it had spread.
I remember sitting outside the hospital with Brent one day when a plane flew overhead.
He looked up at it and said:
“I just miss it so much.”
That moment has stayed with me ever since.
It changed the way I think about time.
It changed the way I think about money.
And ultimately, it changed the way I think about financial planning.
The Problem With “Someday”
Losing my brother didn't teach me that planning for tomorrow doesn't matter.
It actually taught me the opposite.
It taught me why we're planning in the first place.
There are two extremes when it comes to money.
On one side is the person who lives entirely for today.
The paycheck arrives and it's already spent. There's little savings, limited liquidity and no real protection against something going wrong.
A job loss, unexpected repair or major life event can quickly create financial stress.
That's obviously not ideal.
But there's another extreme that doesn't get talked about nearly as much.
Living entirely for tomorrow.
Keep working.
Keep saving.
Keep investing.
Keep accumulating.
And keep postponing.
Someday we'll travel more.
Someday I'll work less.
Someday we'll spend more time together.
Someday I'll pursue the thing I've always wanted to do.
Someday I'll finally enjoy everything I've spent decades building.
The problem is that “someday” has a habit of moving.
You reach one financial milestone and immediately create another.
$3 million becomes $5 million.
$5 million becomes $10 million.
Age 55 becomes 60.
Then 60 becomes 65.
There's always another reason to wait.
What Is Your Money Supposed to Do?
This is where I think traditional conversations about financial planning can sometimes miss the point.
We talk about retirement projections, investment returns, savings rates, taxes and estate planning.
Those things matter.
But they're tools.
They're not the objective.
The bigger question is:
What do you want your money to allow you to do?
That's a fundamentally different starting point.
Maybe you want to travel with your family while your kids still want to travel with you.
Maybe you want to leave the corporate world earlier.
Maybe you want to buy a second home.
Maybe you want to help your kids.
Maybe you want to work because you enjoy it rather than because you need the paycheck.
Or maybe you simply want more control over your time.
Once you understand what you're actually building toward, financial planning becomes less about accumulating and more about aligning.
Stop Asking, “Can I Afford It?”
There's a question people naturally ask whenever they're considering a significant purchase or experience:
Can I afford it?
I think there's a better question:
Can I do this without compromising what matters most later?
Those questions sound similar.
They're not.
Imagine you want to take a big family trip.
Technically, you might have enough money in the bank to pay for it.
So yes, you can “afford” it.
But that's not really what you want to know.
You want to know:
If I spend this money today, am I still okay tomorrow?
That's where an actual financial plan becomes valuable.
If you understand your cash flow…
If you have appropriate liquidity…
If your income and family are protected…
If you're saving appropriately…
If you've considered taxes and other major risks…
And if the long-term plan still works…
Then spending money today doesn't necessarily represent a failure to save.
It may represent the entire reason you've been saving.
Spend on What You Value
For my family, one of those things is experiences.
We're not big gift people.
For birthdays and other occasions, we'd generally rather go somewhere or do something together than exchange expensive gifts.
We've taken family trips to Hawaii. For my birthday, we spent time together in Leavenworth.
Those experiences matter to us.
That doesn't mean everyone should spend money on travel.
The lesson isn't:
Spend more money on experiences.
The lesson is:
Figure out what you value and intentionally direct your money toward it.
Your answer might be completely different from mine.
That's exactly how it should be.
Money is a tool.
The question is whether you're using that tool to create a life that reflects what you actually care about.
The “Someday” Exercise
Here's an exercise worth trying.
Ask yourself:
What have I been postponing for someday?
Don't immediately think about whether it's financially possible.
First, identify it.
What have you been telling yourself you'll do later?
Then ask:
Why am I waiting?
Is it really because of money?
Or is it uncertainty?
Fear?
Habit?
A belief that you always need a little bit more before you're allowed to enjoy what you've built?
Finally, ask:
What would need to be financially true for me to do it sooner?
That's a much more useful financial planning question.
Maybe you need a certain amount of accessible cash.
Maybe you need to increase your savings.
Maybe you need better protection against an interruption in income.
Maybe there's a tax issue that needs to be addressed.
Maybe doing it today really would jeopardize another important goal.
If that's the case, now you know what you're solving for.
But you might discover something else.
You may already be financially capable of doing it.
The missing ingredient isn't more money.
It's clarity.
Financial Planning Should Create Confidence, Not Just Wealth
I believe liquidity, cash flow, protection, taxes and investments all matter.
But none of them exist in isolation.
They're supposed to work together so you can make better decisions about your life.
That's why I don't think the goal of financial planning should simply be to accumulate the largest possible portfolio.
There will always be a bigger number.
The real objective is to build enough financial strength and flexibility that you have choices.
Choices about your career.
Choices about your time.
Choices about your family.
Choices about what you say yes to.
And choices about what you're willing to say no to.
Losing my brother didn't make me care less about preparing for the future.
It made me care much more about why we're preparing for it.
Brent knew what he loved.
He wanted to fly.
I'll never forget sitting beside him as he watched that plane overhead and told me how much he missed it.
And I don't want to spend my life waiting until someday to appreciate the things that matter to me.
I don't want that for the families we work with, either.
You need to prepare for a future that could last a very long time.
And you can't sacrifice your entire present for a future that isn't guaranteed.
The goal isn't to choose between today and tomorrow.
The goal is to build a financial life capable of supporting both.
Because ultimately, we're not just trying to accumulate wealth.
We're trying to build and live our lives.